Lulu - Lou Reed & Metallica

I knew that I would have to write this review and I’ve been dreading it for a while. I really had high hopes for this album, I really did. When the project was first announced I was optimistic. But then when The View came out that optimism all but vanished. God knows I tried to like that song as much as I could but I just couldn’t. I will say that it sounds ok when its just James Hetfield singing but that’s about all of the praise that I can give.

I’m going to be honest: this album sucks. It’s really hard for someone like me to say that because I love Metallica. I own every one of their studio albums (yes St. Anger included, I just don’t listen to it that much). I like a few of their songs from Load and ReLoad but like most I worship their early stuff (cliché, I know). Every now and then I’ll put on “Frantic” or “Some Kind of Monster”. So that should give you an idea of how much I like Metallica. But the thing is I haven’t even bought this album and for the foreseeable future I don’t think that I will be.

Also just for note I’ve never been all that into Lou Reed. I’ve heard “Walk on the Wild Side” which was decent but I’ve never really gotten into anything like The Velvet Underground.

So let’s talk about the album now. The music for the most part isn’t half bad (take that with a hefty grain of salt), although “Junior Dad” is a. way to long and b. way too light. But the music is still somewhat bad. It tends to plod along a lot, like its not really going anywhere. So in general the music is ok.

The vocals on this album aren’t half bad though, they are all bad, well actually I take that back, Hetfield is ok in a few places. Lou Reed barely sings however, he sort of rambles like a crotchety old man, which if you think about it…well never mind. The album is already bogged down by not so good music and the terrible vocals just pull it down even further.

The thing is there seems to be so much potential for this to be a good album but most of it was squandered. Maybe they didn’t think it through enough, maybe it was rushed, maybe it was just never meant to be. Odds are that we’ll never know.

Now I’ve been hearing whispers that Metallica are working on a new album (sans Lou Reed) so right now I would like to speak directly to them: please please please go back into the studio, write Master of Puppets Part II, and kick anyone in the balls who suggests that you use the same mixing process as you did on Death Magnetic. That would make a lot of people very happy.

Also I’ve heard that there could be one or more music videos for Lulu. Making music videos is purely unnecessary. They won’t be aired and if Lulu’s sales on iTunes are any indication, they probably won’t sell well either. So get back out there and do what you do best: making thrash metal.